: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize