I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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