My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
