I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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