I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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