dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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