Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
