Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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