We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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