I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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