Texts From Last Night

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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.

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  (321): I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night. http://tfl.nu/rqck
  Replies (11) Good night (1576) Bad night (640)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!

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  (502): Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER! http://tfl.nu/qf7o
  Replies (9) Good night (950) Bad night (2025)
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  (760): View more from California

  I wish they had nachos that got you drunk

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  (760): I wish they had nachos that got you drunk http://tfl.nu/1jvf
  Replies (17) Good night (4512) Bad night (671)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just so you know, I have a bf.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.

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  (847): Just so you know, I have a bf. (405): I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful. http://tfl.nu/esk6
  Replies (7) Good night (4144) Bad night (756)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...

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  (402): who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar... http://tfl.nu/yz5c
  Replies (51) Good night (1161) Bad night (5549)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume

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  (949): im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume http://tfl.nu/ixw0
  Replies (27) Good night (1296) Bad night (4229)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  you need to get laid.. and an oil change.

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  (815): i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since. (1-815): you need to get laid.. and an oil change. http://tfl.nu/z8d3
  Replies (18) Good night (1769) Bad night (5019)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?

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  (610): who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch? http://tfl.nu/432a
  Replies (38) Good night (3988) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.

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  (401): This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/lyuy
  Replies (1) Good night (926) Bad night (3017)
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  (555): View more from

  My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique

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  (555): My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique http://tfl.nu/mm4o
  Replies (17) Good night (4538) Bad night (1515)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out

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  (803): I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out http://tfl.nu/rkh6
  Replies (5) Good night (1731) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  Actually, she's fat now, so...

  (817): View more from Texas

  Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.

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  (817): He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but... (1-817): Actually, she's fat now, so... (817): Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson. http://tfl.nu/7993
  Replies (27) Good night (2026) Bad night (5156)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.

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  (281): Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky. http://tfl.nu/g7xl
  Replies (1) Good night (763) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class

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  (954): I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class http://tfl.nu/ks3b
  Replies (3) Good night (1218) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Why were you not born a dude?

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Because god wanted to level the playing field

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  (727): Why were you not born a dude? (1-727): Because god wanted to level the playing field http://tfl.nu/5cfo
  Replies (3) Good night (1047) Bad night (311)

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