What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
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The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
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Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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