Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant

  (360): View more from Washington

  At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant (360): At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats http://tfl.nu/21vb
  Replies (5) Good night (715) Bad night (2267)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator". http://tfl.nu/yo1x
  Replies (59) Good night (1094) Bad night (6000)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night. http://tfl.nu/6yac
  Replies (15) Good night (4031) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that. http://tfl.nu/4jg4
  Replies (6) Good night (2463) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds. http://tfl.nu/2lul
  Replies (42) Good night (1946) Bad night (6683)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss http://tfl.nu/ms4i
  Replies (9) Good night (898) Bad night (1310)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon. http://tfl.nu/he7t
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (1517)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  But break dance skills will only take you so far

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (551): But break dance skills will only take you so far http://tfl.nu/859m
  Replies (1) Good night (570) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place http://tfl.nu/vals
  Replies (5) Good night (1391) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  What? How can you say that? You won!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before. (1-813): What? How can you say that? You won! http://tfl.nu/a7ws
  Replies (5) Good night (878) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer. http://tfl.nu/d3xk
  Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like

  (630): View more from Illinois

  we should definitely drink gin again. soon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like (630): we should definitely drink gin again. soon. http://tfl.nu/20ks
  Replies (0) Good night (473) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor? http://tfl.nu/mcjz
  Replies (1) Good night (327) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it. http://tfl.nu/7wns
  Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis. http://tfl.nu/kmqs
  Replies (1) Good night (431) Bad night (218)

Randomize