I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?