is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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