he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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