I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Randomize