kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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