Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
