What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
