I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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