Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
