I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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