I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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