I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
