What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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