Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm jealous of your bromance
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
