I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
