bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize