hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
