I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
