Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
