I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
this will be a night to untag.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
