absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
