So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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