Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
