you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize