booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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