How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize