i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Boobs are out for the taking
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
