There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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