I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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