Pregnant stripper...not hot.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
