the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
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This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
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He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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