I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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