He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
God, I missed his penis.
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