Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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