...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
