Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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