...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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