We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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