Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Buhtt sex?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
