marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
