Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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