Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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