I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
