I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Randomize
