so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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