he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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