In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
