I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
