Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize