He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
