We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
